Stairs. My daughter delights in climbing stairs. Up and down. Down and up. Many and few. Big and small- she loves them all. Whenever she sees them anywhere, she quickly toddles over to them and then looks up at me with gleaming eyes and a wide smile and pops her hand up to mine. We practice over and over. Once I began noticing her interest in stairs, I, like many parents, was a little concerned that her curiosity would lead to an injury. So, I decided to train her- over and over again- so that she can get better and learn how to maneuver them correctly and how to receive assistance. Sometimes her foot drags as she is lifting it to the next step. So I reminder her to use her legs to push herself up. Sometimes she loses her balance, so we stop and take a break. Sometimes she falls. We brush off the dirt and sometimes put a band aid on the skinned knee. And then we go back out and do it again. Why, because we can’t master anything if we don’t practice. 
Intentional and strategic, I am pretty good at helping my daughter and others practice. Creating a safe and healthy environment to take risk, try something new, accept grace and assistance- it is really fulfilling to help someone practice. But I am not very good at allowing myself the time and the grace to practice– to fall, get a little dirty, or to skin a knee. And, I really don’t give myself a few minutes to cry when my efforts don’t work out as I would have liked. When I get frustrated with seeing and experiencing results that are not in line with my goals, I can reassess, troubleshoot and evaluate how to do it better. This is a skill I have that flows into a lot of areas of my life. I determine appropriate actions to solve my dilemma and then expect to be able to see the results I want. But why don’t I allow myself to practice? Why do I put such pressure on myself to get it right? Why I am so worried about falling down? Or getting up? Or being seen somewhere in the middle, with a few tears? To a certain degree it might be the embarrassment of not getting it right. To identify a problem, create a step by step plan and envision the desired outcome means I have a formula to follow. But I think it is more than the fear of failure. I think it is the fear that we will fall back into old habits– that we won’t actually get out of the pit or make any headway. That we will stay stuck. And, doing this again and again, in any area of our life, sucks us of hope. It can leave us feeling depressed and void of self-confidence. Grace. It is easy to talk about but, it’s a lot harder to give ourselves the gift of grace. I can give it to others much easier than myself. So what can keep us from falling back into old patterns we don’t want to replicate in our lives? VISION
If we have decided to make a change, we must, absolutely must, have a vision for where we are going. “Without vision, my people perish (Proverbs 29:18).” Our spirit cannot live, thrive, and love life without vision. Write it plain….. Vision needs to be prayed about and then written (Habbakkuk 2:2). The vision for your marriage, family, health, or career should not be a vague idea. Actually, we should write it out. It might change from year to year due to experiences, gained insight and wisdom from mentors, but it must be written. If I am simply “behaving” in a way that is right because someone recommended it or it is supposed to help me, and I do not have core beliefs and convictions that it is what I want for my life, then it is simply legalism. When you fall, and it will happen, It is much easier to revert back to old patterns and habits if you are not able to remind yourself of your vision. Make it plain. No fluff. No flowery words. Write what you mean, what you believe, what is true. You have to want that more than anything else. Any plan can be thwarted. Maybe you set out with a plan to begin reading the Word of God every morning before anything else. But two weeks in, just when you are getting into a groove, you find that there are events and distractions preventing you from following through- your daughter woke up sick; an early morning meeting at work; you accidentally overslept; the phone begins going nuts with important messages- all valid issues that needed your attention. Without a vision and absolute belief that you need the Word, every, single, morning, it would be easy to allow the events of life to distract from your plan. Your heartfelt convictions for your personal life, health, career, and marriage must be identified and your vision made plain. The future must look more appealing than the comforts of the past. COMMUNITYIn the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), it does not say that the man that was beaten had set himself up to fall OR that he saw it coming. The robbers attacked and left him “half dead”. BUT, the Samaritan, came and not only bandaged his wounds but restored him, placing him in an environment to heal and become whole. Having a community of healthy people in our lives is essential. When we fall, these individuals are not okay with simply helping us put on a band aid, they are devoted to walking us into restoration and creating a healthy environment around us to move forward. LOVE
“Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).” Fear of falling. Fear of disappointment. Fear of living with regrets. Fear of staying stuck. Fear. It holds us captive. Like an animal caught in a trap, arms floundering, trying to escape. We are scared to move forward thinking that we won’t do it well or succeed. But love, perfect love… this is the solution. Only knowing this perfect love gives us the power to vanquish fear, forever. Gone! Conquered! Eliminated!A life without fear…what a life to live!
- Grace to get it wrong
- An environment to get back up
- A vision for where we are going
- Others for steady support
- Real, complete love
Practice. Just go do it. Mess up, drag your toes, wobble, do what you must. But whatever you do, don’t let fear keep you just peering up the staircase. Climb. TRUTH: Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.2 Peter 1:2 (NIV)