“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” — Howard Thurman

What makes you come alive?  For me, providing individuals with encouraging support, practical resources and effective coaching along their health journey is what brings me incredible excitement and fulfillment!  For years this was not just my job, but my life.  I was able to be a part of people’s lives, a little piece of their story, and I am so honored.  

After having a little girl in May 2015 and then moving for my husband’s job 6 months later, I decided to stay at home full time and embrace all the joys and complexities of mommyhood.  But I found myself searching for significance and fulfillment, wondering why the snuggles, messy mealtimes, giggles, laundry, and long nature walks weren’t meeting this need.  If mothers are “naturally nurturing” and loving, then why did I feel dissatisfied?  I sought to feel purposeful and productive.  I desired to invest in other people’s lives. I hoped that I still had something of value that I could share that would mean something to another person, but with who?  

As I began thinking, praying and talking with my husband about these competing desires to feel satisfied with my days at home with my daughter and grateful for this opportunity that many moms claim they would adore, the true reality was that ultimately, I missed my work schedule, interaction with co-workers, sharpening my skills, problem solving, leading support groups, facilitating group talks and celebrating my patients’ victories.  Mostly, I missed loving people through my work.  

Have you ever felt like all that you had was good, really good, but you felt like you just wanted more?  Maybe like me, you didn’t know if these persistent desires and thoughts were selfish or a sign that you needed to take action.  

While I have considered going back to a traditional dietitian job many times in the last 6 months, every time I began applying for a position, I reconsidered and would then delete my application.  I began to ask myself why?  Was it that I had become lazy?  Did I doubt my ability to integrate back into a corporate medical environment?  Did I fear the strict time schedule and routines now that I had a child?  My questions led me to ask myself some scary questions about my courage, identity and values.  But, they also led me on a journey to discover what it is thatreally makes me come alive… It is YOU.  

Helping people discover a path to improve their health and weight that works for them and their lives is truly fulfilling and the reason that I went to work every day for years.  I would pray that every time I encountered a patient or client that I could say just 1 thing that had the potential to change their perspective and ultimately, their lives.  I would hope that a smile, affirmation and even my demeanor towards them would scream love, acceptance, and that they are truly valuable.

For many years, my job was the vehicle I used to pursue my passion of nutrition education and counseling.  It allowed me to “come alive” but it wasn’t the true source of my joy.  Human nature has a way of taking a vocation and turning it into an identity and source of fulfillment.  It is a slow and steady invasion, where we begin to seek (and find) meaning and value in the wrong places.  I am guilty.  It is my dissatisfaction in the last several months that have caused me to re-evaluate what I love to do and why.  I heard Lisa Jo Baker, author and speaker, say in a talk to women posted on Qideas.org that “God gives women dreams that don’t end in the labor and delivery ward.”  Well said.  

When environments and life seasons change, living “alive” may look differently.  It is not bad or wrong.  What we have to offer does not diminish and is not insignificant.  It is just different.  At the present time I still feel drawn to stay at home with my little girl.  Oh the joy she brings to my life every single day!  I laugh so much more than I ever have and have learned to value the special, unexpected moments that can’t be planned or created.  In fact, she has actually caused me to think about what it means to be alive, as I marvel at her fearlessness, laugh at spontaneous moments and love affectionately.  

However, just like you, I have a desire to make a difference and to add value to the lives of others, beyond my family.  I want to feel alive wholly and completely!  I want joy to bubble up from deep within instead of choosing to be joyful today.  I want to embrace my calling and enjoy it!  This blog is my opportunity to give, love, and inspire where I am right now.  I may have to redefine living alive many times over my lifetime, depending on my season in life and circumstances.  But this I know, there is no place else I would rather be.  Join me.

TRUTH: You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command:Love each other.

John 15:16-17 (NIV)