Feeding a toddler is anything but easy, although it can be quite entertaining. My daughter is an “all in” kind of gal. If she loves it you know and if she doesn’t, well, you know. She is not dainty and doesn’t use her pincer grasp often. Instead she grabs fistfuls and shovels in food. Except, when she decides she doesn’t want it.
Every child is different, but some require parents to go back to school for Character Building 201 and Patience Development 301. When McKaela was a baby a year ago, I am not exactly sure what I envision feeding a toddler would look like, but I thought you might like to see real life at the Hunt home with a 15 month old.
My angelic looking daughter took picture #1 a couple of hours before picture #2 occurred. She decided she was not interested in anything on her plate and swiped it all off in a split second. While I have never been fond of mopping, my floors have never been cleaner, considering how many times they are cleaned… by hand.
Although I have worked in nutrition and dietetics many years, I generally worked with the adult population. But as I have moved into a different season of life, I have become interested in learning what I can to help my daughter develop into a healthy little girl with broad palate, healthy self-image and smart eating habits. Call me a dreamer, or just plain naive… my intentions are good but the reality is more complicated.
These are a few lessons I have learned, so far- I expect many more lessons in the near future.
LESSON #1: Taste
Encouraging little ones to “try” new foods at the table can quickly turn into a power struggle. They are exercising their right to say “no” or decline a food and the parent is trying to prevent making several meals for the family. How many times have I wanted McKaela to “just try one bite?!”
I have found that the most effective way to get my little girl to try new or less familiar foods is to create “taste” moments outside of the dinner table. These are moments when she is showing interest and curiosity- enough to where she is motivated to taste or interact with a food (smell, touch, look, etc). Essentially, by creating a taste moment in a non-threatening environment, she is able to explore on her own terms and I, the parent, feel less angst about the outcome. Sure, I want her to try the food, but her daily nutrition does not depend on this bite, so I am less pressuring.
Tasting can happen at any time or moment during the day. Sometimes these moments can be planned but other times, I am simply taking advantage of her expressed curiosity. Several weeks ago I opening the refrigerator door to get out some supplies for dinner and she grabbed a large chunk of steamed cauliflower and ran off eating it. I was totally shocked AND joyful! That moment was completely unplanned but she was curious and took a taste.
Now, I am more proactive about creating moments to taste foods outside of the dinner table. Sometimes she simply wants to try what I am chopping for a meal and other times she likes to peer into the refrigerator. We will intentionally leave foods she has been declining at dinner on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator so that if she points to it in curiosity, I can take it out and give her a taste.
Of course there are foods she continues to decline, but we continue to offer a taste. The research is consistent that the more exposure, the more likely a child will develop a liking for a food. Don’t give up on exposing your kids to different foods, you may find their curiosity opens the door.
LESSON #2: Lose the “Kid Food” Mentality
How have we come to believe that kids only like “kid food” and won’t like what adults are eating? Recently I was feeding my daughter lunch while I was sauteing some tempeh for a salad I had prepared for my lunch. Tempeh is a fermented soybean cake and is rich in protein and micronutrients- a food I happen to adore. McKaela began pointing to the tempeh in the pan asking to eat it. I only gave her a few small pieces just to appease her, guessing that she wouldn’t like it. After finishing those few bites, she was asking for more and by the end of her lunch, she had consumed more than 2 ounces! Now, when I am eating tempeh at a meal, I make it for her as well.
So, what made me think she wouldn’t like it? Who am I to tell her what she will and will not like? As the parent, my job is to give her exposure to variety and choices, but shegets to decide how to respond each time.
It is almost a bit comical that we expect kids to reject a variety of healthy foods and adore energy dense, sugary foods. There have been dozens of counseling sessions when a patient would return for a follow up commenting that they went to the store and bought all kinds of healthy food for their meals and snacks, but their kids were eating it all. Some of these adults were actually complaining that their kids were choosing to eat healthy foods…when the “kid-friendly” snacks were still in the pantry!
Learn to expect the best- you might be surprised.
LESSON #3: Laugh, Just Laugh
When my sweet little girl drops greek yogurt on my sparkling, hand-cleaned floors, I have a choice. When she flings sweet potato on the carpet in the dining room, I have a choice. When she declines any form of poultry, fish, or meat, for the 50ith time, I get tochoose, again.
As parents we are confronted with so many opportunities to get frustrated, perplexed, and discouraged. Sometimes it is easy to give in and get mad. But, I am learning that the best medicine and ultimate solution is to laugh. The funny thing with kids, at least my child, is that she is fickle. One meal may feel like an utter disaster and the next may go splendidly well. Feeding time is messy time and I am learning that it’s OK. But, I can either resist the inevitable or embrace it. If I continue giving her the same messages and stay calm in my response, gradually, I see her adapting to change.
Maybe smashing beans all through her hair is my opportunity to laugh that day. Maybe that is exactly what I needed.
When confronted with the choice, choose to laugh, it will save you headaches, feeding drama and regret.
Whether you are a parent, grandparent, babysitter or plan to have kids one day, you will get to take a ride on the feeding adventures rollercoaster. There are never any dull moments or a lack of entertainment. There will likely be some struggles and most definitely there will be messes, BIG messes. But just like taking an adventure, have fun exploring with your senses, creating with your mind, laughing at mishaps and always keeps your glass (of milk) half full!
TRUTH: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 (NIV)